Darcy to Elizabeth:
Dear Miss Bennet,
Please rest assured that this letter does not contain any of the mushiness which you found so disgusting earlier. This is the dispatch wherein I will guide you to reveal my truest feelings, for you Miss Bennet and convey your allegations under illumination. I wish to acquit myself of your accusations. I write without any intention of paining you, or humbling myself, by dwelling on wishes, which, for the contentment of both, cannot be too soon elapsed; and the endeavor which the structure and the perusal of this letter must occasion should have been spared, had not my character required it to be written and read. You must, therefore, pardon the freedom with which I demand your attention; your stance, I know, will bestow it unwillingly, but I insist it of your justice.
You have widely mistaken my character, if you think I can be worked on by such persuasions as these. You alleged that regardless of the sentiments of either, I had detached Mr. Bingley from your sister. I had not been long in Hertfordshire, before I saw, in common with others, that Bingley preferred your eldest sister to any other young woman in the country. -- But it was not till the evening of the dance at Netherfield that I had any apprehension of his feeling a serious attachment. -- I had often seen him in love before. I shall not scruple to assert, that the serenity of your sister's countenance and air was such, as night have given the most acute observer, a conviction that, however amiable her temper, her heart was not likely to be easily touched. From that moment I observed my friend's behaviour attentively; and I could then perceive that his partiality for Miss Bennet was beyond what I had ever witnessed in him.
Your sister I also watched. -- Her look and manners were open, cheerful, and engaging as ever, but without any symptom of peculiar regard, and I remained convinced from the evening's scrutiny, that though she received his attentions with pleasure, she did not invite them by any participation of sentiment. -- If you have not been mistaken here, I must have been in an error. Your superior knowledge of your sister must make the latter probable. -- If it be so, if I have been misled by such error, to inflict pain on her, your resentment has not been unreasonable.
I am sorry, exceedingly sorry. I cannot be so easily reconciled to myself. The recollection of what I then said, of my conduct, my manners, my expressions during the whole of it, is now, and has been many months, inexpressibly painful to me. Your reproof, so well applied, I shall never forget: "had you behaved in a more gentleman-like manner." Those were your words. You know not, you can scarcely conceive, how they have tortured me; -- though it was some time, I confess, before I was reasonable enough to allow their justice. I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which I laid the foundation for your love. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun. The letter, ends not in bitterness, but love. Love is a sweet tyranny, because the lover endureth his torments willingly. The adieu is charity itself. Miss Bennet, I love you - those three words have my life in them; we were two and had but one heart.
